Navel-Gazing Blog

Navel-Gazing

No “weird tricks” or “simple hacks” needed

Photo by Thao Lee on Unsplash

I spent a lot of my adulthood as a smoker. Taking up the habit at a young age was a way to rebel against authority. Nobody was going to tell me what I couldn’t do. That worked out…not so well. Another story, another day.

As my nicotine dependency heightened, it ultimately became something I enjoyed, turning into a habit that would last for many years. I quit several times, sometimes briefly, sometimes for months or even years.

Each time I decided to quit, I was motivated to do so.

Every. Single. Time.

I had my reasons. I had my plan. By God, I was going to do it this time.

Except I didn’t. Maybe I paused my habit, but I didn’t quit.

I had my reasons – it’s stressful raising a family. Work was frustrating. I struggled with a lot of anxiety. Then when I thought I had it all beat, I let the stress from my failing marriage suck me back into my addiction. I told myself these were reasons why I failed at quitting. But when reasons become rationalizations, they are no longer reasons. They are excuses.

Why Did I Fail?

OK, this isn’t a post about quitting smoking. But, it is worth asking – why did I repeatedly fail at quitting? I was fired up and full of motivation. I had planned to quit. I knew what had tripped me up in the past. I knew what didn’t work. I was ready and willing. Able? Perhaps less so.

While there were multiple reasons I wasn’t able to stop smoking, including identity issues, toxic people and situations, and others, a single thread ran through all of them. The one thing I lacked most in this area. The one thing I needed to ensure success in breaking my habit.

Discipline

I broke discipline every time life threw me a curve ball.

What is Discipline?

Discipline can be taken to an extreme, even an unhealthy level. My friend Bryan Keyes wrote a great article about Elon Musk’s 120-hour workweek. I’ll refrain from making a statement on whether I think this type of work ethic is healthy or not, as I believe such decisions are for each of us to figure out on our own.

But, when I speak of discipline here, I’m referring to small things relentlessly executed that move you closer to your goal. Little by little. Bit by bit. Focused execution over time doesn’t necessarily mean complete, exhaustive obsession.

How to Stay Disciplined When You Lack Motivation

Recognize that motivation is fleeting

I only write when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes at 9:00 every morning.

Unknown

If we wait for motivation, we’ll never accomplish our dreams, break our bad habits, or achieve success. Often, I find when I begin doing what I’m supposed to do, the motivation often follows.

Practice doing hard things

When we do hard things routinely, it becomes easier to maintain discipline when life gets hard. Discipline is like a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger it becomes.

Do the thing you dread most first

Yesterday I was setting at my desk, staring at my to-do list. While the list contained several tasks I needed to complete by day’s end, there was that one phone call I needed to make. The one I was dreading. The one I’d put off for a few days. I decided I would procrastinate no longer, and made the call.

You know what? It went really well. The rest of my day was productive and engaging because I cleared the air of the bad mojo hanging over my head.

It helped that the call went well, but even if it hadn’t gone well, it would have been out of the way, the weight of it no longer dragging me down for the rest of the day.

Conclusion

While there are many tools and tactics we may leverage to effect positive change, all lasting change requires discipline. Without it, we will fall into old habits and lose momentum.

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