You’re missing out if you aren’t accepting help
I remember standing there, awash in emotions, struggling with the concept of receiving help, support, and love from so many people.
A recent recipient of a brain cancer diagnosis, I wrestled to come to terms with my medical condition while struggling to end my 25-year marriage.
My family wanted to do something to show support and provide some much-needed help while I faced the uncertain outcomes around my health and ability to work coupled with the impacts of medical expenses, medical leave from work, and the financial impact of the divorce.
So, on an otherwise unremarkable March night, I stood in our church, interacting with a staggering number of people who showed up to support me. Still, my pride made it difficult to accept the love that was on display.
I wanted to do it on my own. I felt like I was weak if I accepted help. I failed to see the irony that I was always willing to help out others but wanted to refuse help when I was in need.
My pride was leading me down the wrong path.
As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.
C. S. Lewis
I had to let go of my lone-wolf mentality. In doing so, I was able to receive so much love and light into my life.
While my example is extreme, the same principles apply to receiving any type of help. Whether it’s a friend helping you move, a coworker assisting you on a project, or some other form of aid, receiving help provides many benefits.
The Power of Collaboration
For many of us, there’s comfort in flying solo. It gives the illusion of control. We can make snap decisions and keep moving forward.
To go fast, go alone. To go far, go together.
African Proverb
Lone wolves tire quickly.
Including others on your journey allows for a shared workload. It also brings in opposing viewpoints, allowing you to see the blind spots in your plan.
Letting others help with a project may also provide you an opportunity to expand your knowledge and skills as you learn from them.
The Strength of Vulnerability
Yes, I’m aware of the oxymoronic nature of the headline. But, think about it for a second.
A friend you haven’t seen for a while asks you how you’ve been. Which answer requires more strength? “I’m doing fine, everything’s good,” or “Actually, it’s been a rough few weeks.”
Of course, it takes more strength to reveal your struggles, fears, and trials. It’s scary to do so! But there are many benefits to doing so, which brings me to the next point.
Receiving Help Leads to Stronger Relationships
Have you ever had a friend that repeatedly declined your offers of help?
Yeah, I was that friend. A lot.
“Need a hand with your home remodel?” Nope, I got it. “Can I help with this work project?” Nah, it’s my responsibility.”
When you reject people who are trying to help you, it makes them feel devalued and can take a toll on the relationship.
When you let them show up in your life and appreciate their help, they feel valued and worthy, and are likely to feel more bonded with you through the shared experience.
Conclusion
If you’re someone who struggles to let others help you, you could be missing out on a lot. The many benefits of accepting help will become obvious to you quickly as you experience stronger relationships and better outcomes with more advisors and helpers in your life.
Be sure to return the favor as you are able. If you want to receive help, you also need to be a helpful person! Pay it forward, backward, and sideways.