Become a master of the chaos
We’ve all been there. It seems like life is coming undone. The sky is falling. Everyone around you is in panic mode.
Action movies live for these moments. One of my favorite scenes is from the movie Pearl Harbor. The Japanese attack destroyed the US forces in the harbor. Hardly a plane got off the ground as the surprise attack caught the US so off guard.
Some pilots figure out that a service runway is still intact, and they make the call to Sargeant Earl Sistern, played by actor Tom Sizemore, to get planes ready for a counterattack.
Seizing the initiative, Sistern immediately gets his team to work, readying fighter planes for the incoming pilots.
The Japanese make their way to the runway and service hangers, forcing the Americans to race to get the planes in the air before the Japanese attackers destroy them.
Sistern launches into action, fueling planes and readying them for flight, frantically doing what needs to be done while the Japanese fighters rain down a hail of bullets all around him.
The mechanic doesn’t even act as if he notices. He’s laser-focused on the job he needs to do while others around him are freaking out.
I know it’s a movie, but I love the image of poise under pressure this scene conveys.
And, I think it teaches a life lesson.
While most of us will never need to stare down fighter planes spraying bullets at us, we all experience times when it seems the whole world is raining down on us. When it feels like the sky is falling.
When the Sky Is Falling
These are often defining moments in our lives, and how we respond to them speaks volumes about our character.
During my brain cancer fight, I had many times when it felt like the sky was falling. One in particular stands out though.
I always knew a stem cell transplant would be the final step in my treatment plan if the earlier treatments were fruitful in getting me into remission. However, I had no idea what the process entailed other than they would draw the stem cells from my blood and give them back to me.
To me, this sounded like a transfusion. While kind of true, it was so much more.
My Oncologist informed me a stem cell transplant was the same thing as a bone marrow transplant and I shouldn’t plan on working for a minimum of 4- 6 months because I would likely be very sick and weak for several months.
The plan was to harvest my healthy stem cells (I was in remission) then give me chemotherapy to kill my bone cancer and infuse my cells to regrow my bone marrow.
I was devastated.
I had just reached a verbal agreement for a temporary order in my divorce. This news meant I had no means to pay.
The same evening my lawyer informed me I was being sued to enforce the verbal agreement I had made when I thought I would be working through the rest of my treatments.
I broke.
Hard
I’m not sure I would have made it through that night without the compassionate care of several members of my clinical team.
Nor am I certain anything could have truly prepared me for that night, or many of the days and nights following it.
Along the way, I learned some things that could have helped me in my darkest moments.
Know When to Break
I know, the title of this post is “Becoming Unbreakable.” The fact is, none of us are unbreakable. Life can and will crush each of us. The world is a difficult place.
But, breaking down, letting the feelings wash over you, and grieving your situation only makes you weak if you wallow in those feelings. It’s OK to break. It’s OK to cry (yes, even we men cry.)
Life can get pretty bleak sometimes. You’re allowed to experience the bleakness. To express it.
Just don’t live there.
It must not consume you!
Lean on Your Faith
Spiritual practice can be of great comfort in times like these. In my story above, and in so many more difficult instances through my cancer treatments, I had to lean into my faith.
Praying, journaling, and reading the scriptures all helped me to find peace and comfort. In the end, I had to turn all of my struggles over to God. I was already trusting him with my physical health. I needed to trust Him with my financial health and my legal battles too.
Lean on Others
When the sky is falling in your life, you’ll find out who your true friends are. They may not be who you think they are. But, you will have people step into your life and be a guiding light for you.
Even if they’re strangers.
I had so many desperately needed conversations with members of my care team, from physicians to environmental services technicians.
People will be there for you if you let them.
Prepare for the Chaos
You need to build a discipline of being uncomfortable to provide you the ability to perform beyond your edge.
Ancient societies like the Spartans took this philosophy to the extreme, exercising young boys from an early age using brutal and violent training methods to train them for warfare.
The movie 300 popularized the Spartans, detailing the account of 300 brave warriors standing off the entire Persian empire. While we may not go as far as Leonidas and his 300 soldiers, we can use the concept of placing ourselves in uncomfortable situations willingly to prepare for difficult times.
One modern method of this is called immersion therapy, used by psychiatrists to help their patients get over their fears. The therapist gradually immerses the patient in their phobias, allowing the patient to feel some familiarity and reduced fear of whatever their phobia is.
We can all take risks and move past our comfort zones to do things that scare us or make us uncomfortable. In doing so, we are more prepared for the difficult times that will most certainly come upon us.
There it is. My short list of items to help you overcome adversity. I’d love to hear what techniques work for you. Drop me a note here and let’s keep the conversation rolling!